I wasn’t originally going to write tonight, but a realization suddenly popped into my head. It isn’t truly a brand new thought but I figured out how to articulate it finally. What I realized is that while life may have it’s messy moments it doesn’t necessarily mean my whole life is a mess. Now let me back up a little to give you context on how this thought came about.
A few weeks ago I was using some self deprecating humor, thinking it was actually funny when someone suddenly asked me why I was so down on myself. It stopped me in my tracks. I knew I had accomplished some pretty great things recently but I thought it was good that I could make fun of myself. I still think its good to not take yourself too seriously and be able to laugh at yourself but I realized the self deprecation was starting to come off as negativity. The comment really got me to start reflecting even more than I already was. Trust me I already reflect a lot, I can get very wrapped up in my over thinking thoughts.
What I started noticing was that while I was able to recognize some of my accomplishments since graduating I wasn’t truly giving myself credit for it. I was even writing on here how much more capable I felt. However, while I could recognize some of my experiences were pretty awesome I wasn’t using them to truly look at myself more positively. Feeling more capable wasn’t a lie but I was still using any misstep to discredit how far I have come within the last few months.
I would find myself talking to friends from college or Seattle and they would compliment how much it seemed like I was thriving. Yet for some reason I always felt the need to make sure they knew just because I was doing well and having fun my life wasn’t all rainbows and ponies. Looking back, they probably already knew that… like that’s just life. No one has a completely rosy life. I should have accepted the compliment and given myself the credit for creating a pretty great life for myself out here in Texas.
With that in mind I have really been trying to make the effort to not take every single chance I have to put myself down for sake of humor. By making that too much of a pattern people were starting to take it as a lack of self confidence. While there may be moments in my life that don’t go so smoothly, that doesn’t mean I’ve completely back tracked from any positive changes I’ve made in my life. Like I said above; life has it’s messy moments but it doesn’t mean your whole life is a mess.
So, please take that as your reminder to not sell yourself short. Don’t get tripped up over one misstep. Recognize your accomplishments and use them as something to remind yourself of how great you are, not just as something you can use to give people advice about.