I am having delayed reaction of sorts this August. With working in the retail industry we have been closely following back to school sales. You could say back to school has been on my mind a lot lately because of that. While this isn’t my first back to school season that I’m not actually going back to school for, it’s hitting me a lot harder than it did last August. Throughout my whole life I have always been someone who is excited about the future. When I was in high school I couldn’t wait for college. In college I lived more in the moment but I still couldn’t wait to start the career I had always dreamed of.
So when I graduated and quickly found out that I would be moving across the country to start that career, I never really felt like I was missing out on much by not going back to college. Of course I missed being around all of my friends and the random adventures I had with them in Pullman, but the excitement of starting a tangible new chapter weighed out those feelings. Tangible is the key word to why this back to school season is hitting me harder than last year.
For the first time since kindergarten I don’t have a tangible step forward. Even if it wasn’t a transition as big as going to college after high school, each new grade was a tangible step forward. I am still very much enjoying life in Dallas but there isn’t some specific date anymore that kicks off that whole ” I have a fresh start for the year!” feeling. I guess there is new years or my birthday still but for some reason in college back to school gave me that feeling more. I am still having tons of fun, going to plenty of entertaining events, experiencing growth, and making big life accomplishments but I’m learning that I have to look within myself now to spark that same type of excitement the back to school season did in college. Basically, it’s finally setting in that the cycle of life I have known for the majority of my life is officially over.
I am aware that being done with that stage isn’t necessarily bad. I have had enough great experiences within the last year that I truly do know that. However, I also know that my previous stage in life provided me with enough great experiences that it’s easy to get nostalgic over it. Now with that stage feeling more permanently over than ever before, I must admit it’s a little weird. A lot of my friends had this weird feeling last year so I a guess that’s why it seems like a delayed reaction for me.
Another factor with this whole nostalgia feeling is the fact that my sister is starting college this year. I’ve been giving her tons of advice and I’ve even provided some of her friends who are going to my school with advice. With all of that, a lot of good memories have been playing through my head. I hope to go to my sister’s family weekend in October so maybe I’ll semi re-live some of those memories 😉 I say semi though because it will be my first family weekend not at the school I attended, which will be another weird experience of itself.